Difficult conversation practice: raising underperformance
VirtualInterview.ai lets you rehearse telling a team member that their performance is not where it needs to be. The AI team member suspects what the meeting is about and is anxious about their job. In about 10 minutes you have to say it clearly, listen and agree a plan, and the debrief scores clarity, empathy, exploration and plan.
Last updated
- Free account, no card
- Voice or typed answers
- About 10 minutes
Performance conversation: key points
- Say the hard part early and clearly. Burying the message in small talk or praise leaves people confused and anxious.
- Base the conversation on specific, documented examples against clear expectations.
- Show empathy for how the person feels without softening the message until it disappears.
- Explore causes together: skills, workload, clarity, personal circumstances. The plan depends on the cause.
- Agree a written plan with specific goals, support and review dates, and follow your organisation's HR process where it applies.
Who should practise a performance conversation
It is for managers who have to raise underperformance and are dreading it: people who delay the message, bury it in reassurance, or deliver it so bluntly that the plan never gets discussed.
- Missed deadlines or quality problems have gone on for weeks.
- You are about to start a formal improvement plan.
- The person is well liked and you keep putting it off.
- You expect "why are you only telling me now?".
How to prepare for a performance conversation
Prepare by documenting the performance gap against clear expectations, checking your organisation's HR guidance, considering possible causes, drafting a support plan with measurable goals, and rehearsing how you will open the conversation and handle the person's reaction.
Step 1: Define the gap
Write the expectation, what has actually happened, and specific examples with dates.
Step 2: Check the process
Read your organisation's performance and HR guidance, and speak to HR if a formal process may follow.
Step 3: Consider causes
List possible reasons: skills, workload, unclear goals, team issues, health or personal circumstances. Prepare questions to explore them.
Step 4: Draft a plan
Propose two or three measurable goals, the support you will provide, and review dates.
Step 5: Plan the opening
Write how you will state the concern in the first minute, kindly and directly.
Step 6: Prepare for emotion
Think about how they might react and how you will respond with empathy while keeping the conversation on track.
What you will hear in a performance conversation, and how to respond
When you raise underperformance, the person may be anxious, upset, surprised, defensive or worried about their job. Acknowledge the feeling, keep the message clear, ask about causes, and move together towards a specific plan with support and review dates.
"Am I going to lose my job?"
Why it comes up: Fear is a natural first reaction.
How to respond: Be honest about where things stand and what process applies. Explain that the aim of the conversation is improvement and support.
Example: “That is not what today is about. I am raising this now because I want to help you get back on track, and I will be clear with you if anything changes.”
"I had no idea there was a problem."
Why it comes up: If expectations were unclear, surprise is genuine.
How to respond: Accept responsibility for any lack of earlier clarity, restate the expectation, and give specific examples.
Tears or visible distress.
Why it comes up: Performance conversations can be emotional.
How to respond: Pause, acknowledge the feeling, offer a moment or a short break, and return to the conversation when they are ready.
"There is a lot going on at home right now."
Why it comes up: Personal circumstances can affect performance.
How to respond: Listen with care, ask what support would help, and point them to available support such as an employee assistance programme, while still agreeing realistic goals.
"The targets are unrealistic."
Why it comes up: They may be right, or deflecting.
How to respond: Ask what they think is realistic and why, review the evidence together, and agree goals that are fair and measurable.
"What exactly do you want me to do?"
Why it comes up: People need clarity to improve.
How to respond: Share the draft plan: specific goals, support, and when you will review progress. Agree it together.
How the practice conversation runs
The team member asks whether this is about their work, and the conversation moves through the message, reaction, causes and the plan. They ask if their job is at risk and whether it is fair, with up to 4 pushbacks.
- Planned length
- About 10 minutes
- Planned exchanges
- 4, plus up to 4 pushbacks
- Who speaks first
- The team member
- Pressure levels
- friendly, standard, tough
- In the room
- Speak or type, redo an answer, see a sample answer
- Languages
- 50+ languages
The phases, in order
- The message
- Reaction
- Causes
- The plan
The AI team member you practise against
Maya Collins plays the team member: warm, worried and listening for whether their job is safe. They react to how the message lands, and they have reasons for the gap that surface only if you explore them.
Your goals in the conversation
- Say it clearly, early
- Show empathy, keep the message
- Explore the causes
- Agree a plan
Setting up a performance conversation
No field is required, and you may attach your notes. Each one you fill in brings the conversation closer to yours. You can also skip the form and describe the whole thing in one sentence.
For example: “Telling Priya, a team member, that her missed deadlines are holding up the rest of the team; she will point to unclear requirements”
Optional
- Performance gap
- Team member
- Their role
- Expected pushback
What the AI team member says
These lines are scripted: Maya Collins uses one when your reply calls for it and improvises everything else from what you entered, so the conversation differs each time.
Opening
“Hi. You wanted to see me? Is this about my work?”
Job security
“Is my job at risk?”
Fairness
“Why are you only telling me this now?”
Deflection
“The workload I was given is heavier than everyone else's.”
How a performance conversation is scored
It is scored by a leadership coach who observed the conversation, on clarity, empathy, exploration and plan. 60% is the bar for a clear message and a plan you both share.
Clarity · 30%
States the performance gap and the expected standard plainly and early
Empathy · 25%
Acknowledges feelings without softening the message away
Exploration · 20%
Asks about causes and listens before proposing solutions
Plan · 25%
Agrees specific goals, support and a check-in date
Report headline: “Clear and supportive”, “Clear but bumpy” or “Message got lost”.
What it tells you to drill next
- Say the hard part first.
- Ask what is going on before fixing it.
- Agree goals, support and a date.
More: scoring methodology · sample report · pricing
Common mistakes in a performance conversation
These conversations fail in two opposite ways: the message is softened until it is not heard, or it is delivered and the causes are never explored. Both leave you without a plan the other person owns.
Ten minutes of preamble
Say the hard part in your first two turns. Anxiety rises while you circle.
Reassurance that erases the message
You can be kind and still be clear that the current level is not enough.
Solving before asking
Ask what is going on before you prescribe. The causes change the plan.
A plan with no date
Agree the goals, the support and when you will review them.
Checklist before a performance conversation
Before the meeting, have the documented gap and examples, your organisation's HR guidance, questions about causes, a draft improvement plan, an opening statement, support resources, and review dates ready, and plan to confirm the agreement in writing.
- The expectation, the gap and dated examples.
- Your organisation's performance and HR guidance.
- Open questions about possible causes.
- A draft plan with goals, support and review dates.
- Your opening two sentences.
- Details of support resources available to the employee.
- A follow-up note summarising what was agreed.
What this practice is not
It is rehearsal for one conversation with someone you work with. It is not HR or legal advice, and the AI counterpart is not a model of the real person.
- The counterpart's backstory is invented for the role-play; the real person will have their own.
- It is not HR or legal advice, and it does not know your company's performance or disciplinary procedure.
- When they ask "is my job at risk?", the honest answer depends on facts and policy only you know.
It also does not feed you answers during a real interview.
Guides to read first
- How to Talk to an Underperforming EmployeeA manager's script for the performance conversation: state the gap early, ask what's behind it, answer 'is my job at risk?' honestly, and agree a plan.
- Difficult Conversations at Work: Scripts and StepsA five-step method for difficult conversations at work, with scripts for feedback, pushback, bad news and conflict, and how to rehearse before you go in.
Performance conversation: questions people ask
The questions people ask before they practise a performance conversation with the AI team member, each answered from how this scenario is set up today.
How do I practise a difficult conversation with an employee?
Start the performance conversation role-play and optionally enter performance gap, team member, their role and expected pushback. You open the conversation, and the AI team member reacts to how you put it.
What does the debrief tell me?
It scores clarity (30%), empathy (25%), exploration (20%) and plan (25%), and labels the conversation "Clear and supportive", "Clear but bumpy" or "Message got lost". Each goal is marked from the transcript with the line that shows it.
Can I rehearse a different kind of hard conversation?
Yes. For feedback on one behaviour use the giving feedback role-play; for a senior stakeholder who wants an earlier date use the deadline pushback role-play; for anything else, describe it in the custom scenario.
Is practising a performance conversation free?
Yes, on the free plan: 2 sessions a month (your first session runs full length, later ones are 5-minute sessions), with a free account and no card. Pro is $20/month, and one-time credit packs start at $9.
Rehearse a performance conversation before the real one
A free account, about 10 minutes and the AI team member on the other side.
Practise the conversation